I look at myself in the mirror… I see me. I look the same. I wear the same glasses I’ve been wearing for the last three years. The curly hair that I loathed so much fall in my face, I just grew to love my hair.
However, I don’t feel like that’s me. I don’t feel the same.
I honestly thought I was getting better. I thought I knew myself. But I don’t.
Who am I?
Lots of people ask these question to themselves. Who are you? Who am I?
I don’t know. I wish I did. I mean, it’s so frustrating to not understand why I’m doing whatever the hell I’m doing!
I’m fasting. I know I don’t believe in the Big Guy. But at least I should respect the religion and it’s traditions. It’s just driving me crazy!!!
I feel like I’m back to square one. I feel like I’m starting to hate myself. Not physically… no. Mentally and emotionally I’m hating myself.
I know that I’m kinda messed up with the break up and family issues. But that’s no excuse for me to act out in a way that my younger self would be disappointed!
I used to be an innocent girl who loved to read Dork Diaries and have imaginative boyfriend (who never hurt me). I used to write in diaries and talk to myself through that to make me understand what I’m feeling and solve my problem. I never go around kissing people who has a girlfriend! Or I never disrespected myself to just physically give pleasures…
No one forced me on anything. It was my decision and I’m the one to blame.
I feel like I’m so lost.
I don’t know what I’m doing with my life… or what I’m going to do with it. Or how to deal with it.
I just wanna go for a long drive somewhere. But it doesn’t work that way. And the pandemic doesn’t make matters any good either!
Growing up really hurts! I know that my age is where everything feels overwhelming and scary. But I can’t help it!
Have any of you felt this way? If you did, how did you overcome it? What did you do?
Share it with me on the comments.
Until next time.